Friday, January 14, 2011

Percentages for Dummies

The Christmas season left us well rested, well fed and well loved. I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that it is 2011 and my baby boy will be 3 in 3 days. He has asked for a birthday tree and a chocolate crocodile cake. I don’t know where he comes up with this stuff but I am willing to give it a shot. Thanks to the post holiday sales I was able to snag a $5 white “birthday” tree and I will have to wing the cake.

Being a currently fundraising future missionary, we have been doing a lot of measuring our progress by percentages. For instance: our mission is 40% funded for our monthly expenses and 100% funded for our transitional expenses …yada yada yada. The problem is that now my mind has been measuring daily life by percentages.

Heres what I mean:


100%- the amount I miss living near my friends and family…enough said

99.5%- The percentage I am sure my sister in law gave Quinn a VTech keyboard and DJ station for Christmas because she knew we would slowly be driven mad. It comes complete with a microphone (that is not actually sung into but inserted into his gob). There is also a way to record your singing and play it to a variety of musical genres including hip-hop, techno and reggae… over and over and over… . Let me try to explain what that sounds like. Get yourself a boiled egg. Now stick it in your mouth…that’s right…all the way in. Now, sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” as loud as you possibly can…now get yourself a fresh beat for background music....you got it! Thanks Melinda.

99.4%- Chance Quinn has of never becoming the next American Idol…but it could be much higher

76.9%- Percentage of possessions that Andy sold last summer that I actually know about. I should just be grateful I still have Quinn and both my kidneys.

33%- Percentage of necessary information given by Andy when he is explaining plans he has made for us. Yeah, he never quite gets why I don’t understand what is going on. It must have sounded better in his head.

8.4%- The amount of understanding Quinn has of the true meaning of Christmas. I asked who’s birthday was on Christmas. He said " Cheesus baby”.

2%- The chance I have to be the cool mom among Quinn’s friends. Since we became parents a bit later in life, I expect to hear when picking him up from activities “Hey, Quinn, your grandma is here!” This is also the percentage of excitement I have for turning 41 in a couple of weeks.

.03%- the amount of interest Quinn has in potty training…waaaaaa!!!!