Quinn the Thumbless Wonderboy

When I was a kid, my grandmother (like all good grandmothers) instilled a fear in me that I will have to live with forever. Besides leaping from dark corners in the night and trying to scare me by calling the "booger man" from the very pits of Hades to suck the essence out of my brain, she apparently also blessed me with the gene for dramatics (as you can well see). Every time I had a headache, she told me it was a brain tumor. When my tummy hurt she said I had a poop stuck crossways. Pepto Bismol was dessert at grandma's house.

So, today I cut my son's thumb off.

(have you already forgotten what I said about being dramatic?)

As I was dressing Quinn in his ever so cute lobster Gianni hand-me-down swim trunks for a day at the spray park (that never actually happened due to a downpour that nearly caused our garage to float down the street), I realized that his nails were getting way too long (inching toward drag queen long). I , grabbed the super duper owie proof , plastic enclosed baby nail clippers and went to work. Of course they were shaped like a little alligator and Quinn felt he should grab them as I was squeezing down on his thumbnail. Holy mother, I clipped the skin on the end of his thumb! Blood! Tears! Panic! I rinsed it off, and put pressure on it with a paper towel, still I couldn't get the bleeding to stop. Oh, no....my child is a hemophiliac! He is certain to bleed to death. At this point he became frustrated with my applying pressure to the wound that I learned in my DFS CPR class and he began to wiggle and cry. More blood, blood on my shirt, blood on my pants, blood on the floor...It looked like OJ was here.....think, think, how much blood in a baby's body? My heart starts beating palpitations of panic, cold sweats, nausea. Will all his precious life blood drain out this tiny snip in his thumb?!? 10 min goes by, still bleeding, 15 min, 20.....I have killed my child!!!!

21min.....all is well. Blood stopped. Heart rate slowing. Sorry about the OJ reference. What am I going to do if he really hurts himself someday. THANKS GRANDMA!!!!!